Wednesday, October 12, 2011
I am both HUNGRY & FOOLISH
As a self-declared linguaphile, I try to think before I verbalize anything by writing or saying exactly what I mean (a leftover habit from taking an introduction to logic class which attempted to take out the ambiguity of the English language) to avoid incorrect inferring. For example, I try not to flippantly say, “I’m so lucky for _______” because I’m not sure I believe in luck, so I try to say, “I’m so blessed for _____” because I do believe in blessings. (Weird, whatever.) I don’t like to say I regret something because truly I regret nothing. Everything in life has shaped me into the Christine you find before you and while I question a lot of things in life, I do not question that I like this Christine. So for better or for worse, this is who I am and this is where I am. There are instances where a better decision, action or word could have been chosen, but for whatever reason, I did what I did, so I say learn, live and move on!
The world is abuzz with the death of Steve Jobs and in mourning for the loss of a revolutionary figure. I don’t know when, if ever, I would have otherwise listened to (and subsequently read) his Stanford commencement speech but hearing it now couldn’t have been a more perfect time for me.
Life has never been easy for me; the compliments are greatly appreciated, but I tell those who say I’m strong, it simply boils down to being good at surviving. I don’t feel as if I’ve ever had a choice in what I do. I am a professional level survivalist. But I guess that is a choice. I choose to survive. I choose life and its heartaches and all the pitfalls it contains. I survive the valleys because I know there are peaks. Without sorrow, by what would we measure happiness? And even if you haven’t experienced any deep despair, as one of my most beloved authors, JK Rowling tells us, our greatest strength is our imagination because it allows us to empathize without having had to experience.
So buoyed by my loved ones’ support, I choose hunger and foolishness as advised by the late great Mr. Jobs. Still not entirely sure it was a choice though :P