Wednesday, April 25, 2012


"I sustain myself with the love of family." --Maya Angelou 

 I know, I use Ms Angelou's quotes quote often, but I can't help it; that woman is a genius. She gets me, I think.

 I got to see my family this weekend, which is always wonderful. Being around Mom, Eric, Brittney and the girls is like fuel for my sapped battery. Life drains me and it's recharging to be able to let go and know I am loved. I am flawed and they know it and they still love me. I read an article on Thought Catalog about a girl's relationship with her sister and mother. Her mother told her she couldn't count on anyone. Oh except her sister and her mother. That's how I feel. I'm not saying they're incapable of errors, but they're a constant in my life of peaks and valleys.

 Charlie & Katherine's wedding was really beautiful and I had a lot of fun. I'm glad Tom came with me and got to meet some people and his increasing presence in my life fills me with such happiness. :) We went to northgate afterwards just bar-hopped, enjoying each other's company. It was a great night. Sunday we slept in, ate, then ... took a nap! I didn't know it was possible to love sleep more than I do, but I think Tom has managed it! Eric & Co. met us at my apartment where we played Dance Central (amazing) and Monday I took off work to go with them to the zoo.

 Now, if you know anything about me, you know I'm an animal enthusiast. My dream job would be to be Steve Irwin while writing. Memoirs, blogs, etc. Doesn't matter. Haikus about kangaroos and iambic pentameter describing the grace of whales and the beauty of the animal/human bond. Digression complete, a zoo with two babies is not taking advantage of the zoo to its full potential. Because babies don't care about birds (which I LOVE), or sleeping tigers, or elephants doing tricks. They like fat, sleepy goats they can touch and harass. Oh well. I'll drag them again when they're older. Maybe it'll be our thing. "Oh, we're going to Aunt Christine's! THAT MEANS ZOO TIME!!!!"

 I hope so. I hope a lot of things for them. I love those two little girls so much it makes my heart hurt.

I'm doing alright in life right now. Things are looking up. I made homemade corndogs and blackberry cobbler for dinner tonight. Now I'm just waiting for that guy of mine to come over so maybe I can convince him to watch Glee with me.

 love, christine.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

I am a fool.

Life is the taste of disappointment. In yourself, in others, it assaults from every direction.

The self-disappointment is the worst because I should know better. I should always know better. I set myself up for it time and time again, internalizing others mistakes, finding their fault in myself.

This is how it's going to be. Is that not good enough?

No, it never is.

I claimed in a previous post I wanted to be hungry and foolish as the late Mr. Jobs advised.

I just want to sated and unhurt.