Monday, November 23, 2015

I want my body back.

"When you're pregnant, you can think of nothing but having your own body to yourself again, yet after having given birth you realize that the biggest part of you is now somehow external, subject to all sorts of dangers and disappearance, so you spend the rest of your life trying to figure out how to keep it close enough for comfort. That's the strange thing about being a mother: until you have a baby, you don't even realize how much you were missing one."
-Jodi Picoult, Vanishing Acts

I'm 27 weeks pregnant.

I feel large & I'm starting to waddle. I'm having issues with my sciatica nerve (thank god for chiropractors), I just blew my nose to find blood, sneezing terrifies me (LOL at the fun with these allergies), & the kicking is both an absolute joy & an absolute annoyance. 

I've never had a uti in my life, now I've had two. The most recent one saw me contemplating moving into the bathroom as the antibiotics ravaged my body, all the while, the little girl in my tummy kicking my already heaving insides. The very beginnings of parenthood already full of beauty & wonder, vomit & poop.

I can't believe I theoretically have 13 more weeks until I deliver this tiny human. I'm only going to get larger. I like finally having a baby bump, but I'm slightly anxious about how rotund I'll grow. Bellies at 40 weeks cease looking cute & just look obscene. 

For someone who doesn't like working out really, I cannot wait to actually be able to run again, to exert myself to the limit physically, to heave out of breath without worrying about the forming fetus sharing my body. Little tenet, I can't wait to evict you!

No comments: